Saturday, August 28, 2010

Golden...


I started this entry to draw attention to unfriendly people. You know the ones. The lady who took your place in the check stand that opened up to help YOU. The asshole that parked his huge SUV in the FIRE LANE in front of the store, causing every car to unsafely drive around him in the crosswalk. Thinking of these selfish individuals made me start to feel a little bitter. And I’m already heavy enough without carrying the weight of bitterness around with me. So instead, I decided to share some of my own personal experiences with genuinely kind people. Those whose simple acts brightened my day and warmed my heart.

…I hope these people warm yours too.

My parents are now seniors. Sometimes it takes them longer to do things, they don’t move at break-neck speed anymore and they shouldn’t have to. Thankfully there is a man at Wal-Mart who understands this. He’s a checker named Paul who’s friendly to everyone. He took time ringing out my mom, paying attention to her needs and keeping a conversation with her despite the line behind us. He was never impatient or rude and not once was he condescending. His job can’t be easy and is probably unpleasant a lot of the time, so I find this particularly kind. Wouldn’t it be something if everyone looked out for our parents this way?

Many years ago I was driving down Alameda late at night. I stopped at the red light on Santa Fe Drive. When I looked in my rear view mirror, I saw a large ugly green car barreling towards me without braking. I heard myself scream before impact and my car was projected into 5 lanes of oncoming traffic. Thankfully none of them hit me. When I gathered my senses, I saw a man waving me into a gas station on the corner. I pulled into the lot and stepped out on shaky legs. I was immediately surrounded by at least a dozen people. I saw concerned faces who stopped their cars at midnight to check my well being. 20 years later and I will not forget it.

In Colorado we enjoy more sunshine than most states. We also enjoy our fair share of blizzards too. I used to drive a red Ford Ranger. While it was good to climb through the deep snow, it was light-weight and had difficulty gaining traction on steep hills. One morning I was driving on south Broadway in Littleton. The world was waking up wrapped in several inches of powder that covered sheets of ice. I had a daunting hill in front of me but I had 4 large sandbags in the bed of my truck so I attempted to climb it. Less than half-way up my momentum slowed. I was stuck on the hill and had no way to reverse because of the traffic behind me. My wheels spun on the ice. I felt alone and a little panicked. My anxiety vanished like smoke in the wind when a tow truck came out of nowhere and stopped beside me. He asked “What’s the problem?” and I told him “No traction.” The man nodded and pulled in front of me. He got out grabbed the big tow chain from his truck and hooked it under mine. He put it in gear and in seconds whisked me over the top of the hill. The man stopped, retrieved his chain and left before I could even thank him. On his way to rescue someone else.

Recently, we went to eat at Red Lobster at Belmar. When we were seated, I noticed a very elderly lady dining alone at a table near ours. Our waiter was prompt attentive and friendly. He could carry many plates despite a physical disability. He is missing part of his right arm. During our salads I overheard a conversation he was having with the elderly lady at the next table. Our waiter noticed that she was not eating her fish. The filet was overcooked and the waiter offered to replace it immediately. The lady didn’t want to create a fuss and said she would eat it anyway but he insisted that a replacement would be there shortly. She was very grateful. I was impressed at his service. A minute or two later the manager came over and spoke to her. She apologized for the quality of the fish and told her that her entire meal was on the house. The lady told her it wasn’t necessary to do that but the manager, who knew this lady’s name, thanked her for her continued business and insisted that the restaurant take care of her. This nearly brought me to tears. I rarely see that kind of service, but I was more impressed by the sincere kindness displayed by the waiter and the manager.

The golden rule is taught to children of every faith. We hear it. We even understand it. If you are paying attention, you will see people living it.

Christianity
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Matthew 7:12, Matthew 22:39, Luke 6:31

Judaism
That which is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow. That is the whole Torah; the rest is the explanation; go and learn."
—Talmud, Shabbat 31a

Islam
No one of you is a believer until he desires for his brother that which he desires for himself.
Sunnah

Taoism
Regard your neighbor's gain as your own gain, and your neighbor's loss as your own loss.
—T'ai Shang Kan Ying P'ien

Buddhism
Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful.
Udana-Varga 5,1

Hinduism
This is the sum of duty; do naught onto others what you would not have them do unto you.
Mahabharata 5,1517

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Back to School



Over the past few days we have gone shopping for clothes, shoes, a backpack and school supplies. We have struggled through crowds, and we didn’t even shop on the weekend. Forty million moms and their kids crawling over the notebooks and glue sticks. Don’t even THINK about taking your buggy down that aisle.

I think I’m more eager than Lil to get this year started. Not for the reasons you’d think. Oh I’m sure at some point like any parent I’ll be glad to send her away for a few hours, if only for some quiet time to read. But right now I want to be along side her walking into the classroom and learning new things. Simple things. Solid things. Like 4+6. I loved the smell of the chalk, the smell of new crayons. The new sounds- the pencil sharpener, the teacher’s voice. And the clear sound of the school bell.

My favorite visual in the classroom when I was in elementary was the bulletin board. Delicate and detailed, the colorful corrugated borders. The carefully cut letters and meticulously pinned shapes and pictures. Autumn leaves, Halloween witches, holiday cheer. The sum of which equals a melting pot of learning and creativity.



This morning over coffee and Farmville, Lillian was playing “school” with the dry erase board. She went right to work on writing words. This was promising. Sheena and I smiled at each other. Finally a glint of eagerness for the coming school year. Lil wrote one word on the board. Duck. I was impressed. I asked her to try and write Luck. She did! Now Lillian was the teacher and Sheena and I the students. We took turns raising our hands to suggest other words that rhyme with Duck. We went through several. Luck.. Truck.. Muck… Buck… it was Lil’s turn. I waited and watched with curiosity. I had run out of words. There it was. She started with the first letter F. Followed by a U… and a C… I whispered to Sheena. “This one is all you.” By the time she finished the K, she was asking, “What does this say?” Sheena was quick with the firm correction and appropriate discussion about that word. I was trying to keep a serious and straight face.

Yes. It is definitely time to go back to school.